Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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