I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
