He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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