We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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