Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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