in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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