I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
