So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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