3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
