I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
