If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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