When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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