If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
