i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
