I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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