So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
