I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Oh god it's open bar.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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