people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
