Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
ugly people sure do ruin things
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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