bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
