she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
