haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
