Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
