My friends, they love my intelligence
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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