Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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