So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize