I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize