I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
