AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
