I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
FUCK WHALES
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
