I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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