he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
