I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
