So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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