Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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