no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
