I feel great
I just peed on a car
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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