i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
thus making me awesome and them whores
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
