sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
