Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think a kid would responsible me up
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize