do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
farters have to be the big spoon...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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