Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
