My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
