Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
