I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
