how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
