well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
