I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
