bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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