I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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