His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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