I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
