You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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