it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
