dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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