My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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