I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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