JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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