TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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