does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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