But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just saw a hot homeless man
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
