Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
