I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just invented taco cereal.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
