There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
