i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
