the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm passing your future prison.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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