I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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