who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
