Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
