my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize